MULTITASKING

電影史上最重要的兩部Sci-Fi 巨著"Blade Runner", "2001 Space Odyssey". 兩部電影分別描寫2020年同2001年的未來世界, 而剛好現在位於兩部電影背景的前後十年左右, 可惜係我地未見會飛天的車, 未見複製人為生存抗爭的深層社會問題出現, 未見有人出太空Business trip打視象電話同兒子講生日快樂. 假如1969年拍緊"2001 space odyssey"的寇比力克乘搭時光機來到現在2011年的呢一刻同人類代表傾計, 可以想像到大概內容:

Stanley問:
 "你好嗎? 未來人"  

人類代表答:
 "冇乜特別! 岩岩搭747, 落機之後就黎見你"

Stanley說:
"咩話? 747? 我40年前宣傳"2001太空漫遊"都係坐747, 我果時搭都已經覺得好落後, 個引擎嘈撚到連隔離位條友放屁都聽唔到, 重意為係飛機D食物臭, 今時今日你地重...? 你地呢幾十年搞咩黎呀?


人類代表智囊成員答: 
"Well....Stanley你有所不知,有個 iPhone app遊戲"Angry Birds"被download多過5千萬次, 受歡迎程度連英國首相金馬倫, 演員John Hamm 都承認有輕度上癮, 有統計"Angry Birds"每日有超過2億分鐘的累積遊戲時間, 2億分鐘相等於380年時間. 假如人類好好利用每日花掉的380年, 人類文明好可能比現在更加接近未來多好幾步."


人類代表智囊成員反方答: 
"But come on, 你唔可以blame哂 "Angry birds", think positively.....相反地, "angry birds"鍛鍊人類自我操作能力, 令人類master "Multitasking"呢項藝術, 同一時間可以function兩樣工作, 可以打機時讀書, 讀書時上網, 上網時睇電視, 睇電視時彈琴, 彈琴時傾電話, 傾電話時上班, 上班時炒股票. 一好友問女友可唔可以行房, 女友奇蹟地雀躍叫好, 不過她說"但係你可唔可以由後面黎? 我想multitask打"angry birds" 朋友最初有少少不願意, 不過都接受了, 結果比平時表現得重更加有勁, 多了點怒火."

人類代表智囊成員答: 
"HEY! HANG ON! WAIT A SECOND!
個遊戲叫咩名?? Angry Birds?? 真係令little birdie更加angrier?
遊戲商一定在後面捧腹大笑, DICKHEADS!!"

Steve McQueen

Steve Mcqueen, 卓號"The King of Cool", 70年代初荷李活最貴影星, 因為愛跑車, 愛電單車加上好多電影特技親身演出已得到其稱呼.  小時侯反叛, 加入童黨有搶劫案底, 跟後父關係交惡, 嘗試恐嚇要殺死後父. 17歲參加海軍, 22歲退役學習演戲, 為交acting school學費, 周末賽電單車. 據說Steve McQueen係最原本的Ocean Eleven的其中一員, 可惜因合約問題辭演. Steve McQueen於80年死於肺癌, 死時才50歲.

以下係一部由Dustin Hoffman 同Steve McQueen合演的經典巨著"巴比龍"其中一幕, 話說Steve McQueen被冤枉殺死一馬夫, 被放逐南美坐監, 因屢次逃獄不逐, 被捆黑房時的幻想:



Judge: You know the charge.
McQueen: I'm innocent, I didnt kill that pimp, you couldnt get anything on me, and you framed me
Judge: That is quite true, but your real crime has nothing to do with a pimp's death.
McQueen: Well then, what is it?
Judge: Your is the most terrible crime a human being can commit, I ACCUSE YOU OF A WASTED LIFE!
McQueen: Guilty.
Judge: The penalty of that is DEATH.
McQueen: Guilty, Guilty........

The importance of article (a, an, the)

點解愛麗斯夢遊仙境係Alice in Wonderland而唔係Alice in "the" Wonderland或者Alice in "a" Wonderland? Correct me if i am wrong, 我估作者Lewis Carroll目的想convince讀者Wonderland如同一個國家一樣, 真有此地.

話說一次開OT, 公司只剩下老細同我. 電話響起, 接電話的當然係我. 電話係一個First Name叫Muhammad(穆罕默德)的人打黎搵老細, Last Name 唔記得左, but was something weird). 可能係我潛意識種族歧視, 覺得世界有太多恐怖份子=Muslim=穆罕默德. 所以我將電話transfer比老細時, 我話"I have "a" Muhammad wants to talk to you about this job at xxxx."呢個"a"將佢標籤為眾多穆罕默德之中其中一個, 當老細講完電話之後佢同我講"下次你transfer時記住按Hold, 如果唔係人地會聽到我地講野, Muhammad講佢聽到哂."

只有呢個Muhammad打黎我會話"I have "the" Muhammad wants to talk to you", 其他情況應該講全名.



據說一個Muslim的同學從Iran黎, 佢個Visa指明有好幾科唔準讀, 例如Nuclear Engineering, 政府驚佢學有所成回國造原子彈.

WOG

WOG - Western Oriental Gentlemen的宿寫, 澳洲的Term, 原指六七十年代來指歐洲中及東部的新移民, 大多形容義大利, 黎巴嫩, 埃及, 希臘等中色人種,  跟美國黑人Nigger這個term一樣帶有offensive成份. 直屬上司Russo來自義大利西西利,第二代澳洲移民, 教父的根源地,  據Russo說他在西西利有一個Uncle殺過4個人, 殺人方法每次都一樣, 都係伸出右手跟目標握手, 然後左手從褲袋後面拿出利力, 捅目標腹部多刀, 直至死為止. Russo說他Uncle從不用槍, 因為他要目標看清楚"who he fucked with?"

Russo家家規保守, 重男輕女, 據Russo說, 所有女丁在未嫁之前不能夠獨自出街, 如要出街一定要有長輩陪伴, 即使拍拖都要有長輩相伴, Russo妹妹28歲出嫁, 妹妹在出嫁前從未試過獨自出街. 跟美國傳統保守派的嗜好一樣, Russo愛收藏槍械及打獵. 認為中國人=日本人=印尼人=新加玻人=亞洲人, 從未食過義大利菜以外的食物. 以下是一堆出自Russo的說話:


-同事提起女性朋友因被老公虐打而離婚, 大家都覺得好憤怒, 他說"Whats wrong with that?"
-同事睇了兩次醫生但病都不好, 他說"Is the doctor Indian?"
-每朝開工第一句"Another day in Paradise"
-每日收工前最後一句"Unfortunately, I must leave."
-關於食物"No other food in the world taste better than my mums wood fire pizza, because she uses this ingredient called LOVE"
-關於壽司"What is this shit?"
-關於日本人"Do they eat raw fish every meal?"

-關於外母"I don't want my mother-in-law to look after my kids, because I don't trust her, I only trust my mother."
-妻子來電, 要求伸請Internet, 因為眾朋友中只有她沒有Email因已感到自悲,Russo從電話對妻說"I said No!!Listen, let me ask you a question, do you know how many captains are there on a boat? one. On our boat, I am the captain, so shut up!"
-關於回教徒"Not all Muslim are terrorists, but all terrorists are Muslim!"

 

"You call me what?W-what? I will shoot you motherfu....."